TOPIC - DIMINISHING FAMILY PRAYER AND THE ATTENDANT EFFECTS.A PRESENTATION BY REV SIS ADENIKE ADENIRAN (DHS)."TO THE FATHERS."

 

Rev Sis Adenike Adeniran.

In the days of our grandparents or early church, the Father's will gather the whole family and match them to church for prayers. Most of the times the priest is not there and the catechist lead the whole people in In prayer. This made many of us today to still hold on to the Faith given to us by them. As a saying goes, "the family that prays together stays together".

In the evening, they pray the family rosary, study the bible and do other ejaculatory prayers in turn as they have family roster. After that, they recreate among themselves, share what they experienced during the day, the Father will tell some stories to the children in order to learn some morals, family, societal and spiritual values and at night before they go to sleep, the Father still gathers them for family prayers. This build the respect in the lives of the members of the family, to themselves and their neighbors. The morals instill in them made them value a lot of things like participating in church activities, giving helping hand to others, respect for the things of God and to others especially to the elders. There was fear in the mind of the young ones as a sign of respect. Not wanting to do what will tarnish their image nor destroy the name of the family since they know the repercussion. Children are well behaved outside and they are being respected as well by other adults who come in contact with them. Those days, before a child leaves home the parents reminds the child to remember the home he/she is coming from. This adds to the fear of not destroying the family name as well. "remember the child of whom you are".

Today, many Father's do not have that time again to gather the children for prayer, they run to work from Monday to Friday all because of the family's daily needs. Even when they come back at night, they are tired already and that is how it goes every day. They can be tired to pray, but they are not tired to discuss with their wives about the school of the children, about their textbooks, notebooks, their uniforms and so on. What happens to the prayer life of the children, getting them bible to study even if it warrants giving them a portion of the bible to read and in the evening when you are home early, you share together to know what they understand. Or what happens on Saturday when the Father is at home? On Sunday, do you take time to ask them what they learnt in the Church since you were not there with them during the week to monitor their spiritual life. Many fathers go to church without going with their children as if they want to go to heaven alone. Heaven is not meant for them alone, that is why God has made fathers the pilot of the family.

These days, some fathers (parents) go to church and leave the children to be wherever they want to be. They go straight to the front pew to sit and leave the children behind to do whatever they like. Will the children's prayer life be helped in that way? In the situation you don't want the children to be at their stand in the Church, when they are with you, can they be monitored to respond during the liturgy. Can they have their own hymn book, catechism book, simple prayer book to build their spiritual life. All these cost us no money as such like the school fees are. What is the essence of training a child who does not have respect and dignity for God or things about God, who is nonchalant about the things of God? I am not saying train them to be a priest or religious but to value the faith handed on to them. When we go, what happens to the faith handed on to us? 

EFFECTS 

There are effects of this diminishing family prayer either in the family or the society at large. Some of these effects are: BAD  CHARACTER :A home that prayer is missing, hardly will you find the children serious with their spiritual life. That is when they can do whatever they like and nobody queries them for it and gradually, the child begins to form company, begins to misbehave even in the family since there are no scriptures to guide his/her life. Train your child that you may be at rest. (agba ti o kehun soro, yio ketan share)LOSS OF MORALS: Nobody means anything to this child either at home or outside because of lack of prayer. No respect for anybody, live his/her life the way he/she wants, after all nobody can control me. Quest for money even without working for it, not being satisfied with what the father can provide and lots more. As such, family prayer helps to build the morals in the life of the children.LOSS OF FAMILY/CULTURAL VALUE: You see a child today, to greet the elders is a problem and the funniest thing, some parents will also not correct that child. Or an elder carrying a load, the child will only greet and pass by, that is if the cultural value is still there to greet without giving a hand of help to the order or some one older than them. Another bad thing is that, we bring in western culture that an adult will get to a place and the child will expect the elder to bring chair for him/her to sit rather than the child doing the appropriate thing. Cultural values are fading out gradually.Since the home is not settled for God, it will settle for something else and that is part of the effects we see in our society today. Children joining one group or the other. Some dress anyhow and are not bothered by anyone. Gone are those days when they say someone gives birth, thousands help the child to grow. Can that still happen again? Boys are beginning to wear earrings, plait their hair all because they want to be/are celebrity or because they are sports men. Girls are making many holes on their ear, nose and even thong. Don't we have all this groups in the past? There are lots more of these effects we experience today.

Let us then reflect on all these things and find a way forward and bring back our broken pieces to God who can still amend our families for us. Nothing is too late for God to do. Act of the Apostles 2:42, says "they spend their time in learning from the Apostles, taking part in the fellowship and sharing in the fellowship meal and the prayers day by day".

When the family prays, the effects will be seen in the children which is the fruits of the prayer. There is a saying that "charity begins at home " whatever happens in the house, the results is seen in the child/children. Many homes are lacking this all in the name of looking for daily bread and forgetting to pay attention to what is happening in the house. Many children need the father figure in the house as they have seen their mothers as mates all in the name of being free with her. Many children today don't even care whatever is happening in the house as the father is also not giving good example.

Dear Fathers, try to be good role models to your family and especially your children. With the support of your wives, you can present godly children to the Church and the society at large.

I pray God will help our fathers and future fathers to wake up to this dignified and demanding responsibility which he has handed on to them so that our society can be better again loving others as he has loved us.

PEACE!!!